Anxiety
Anxiety
Highclere is always a wonderful place to forget about day-to-day worries. Entering the estate through winding green vistas, there is a sense of a world apart. Smiling visitors take selfies framed by cedar trees and a turreted golden stoned castle and there is a constant buzz of chatter.
When Covid arrived, it was a very emotional time but also, both individually or as communities, it was a time of fear and anxiety. We were all at the mercy of something deadly that was barely understood and which we could not see. It seemed to have no boundaries and potentially affected anybody. Glued to the news, we all hoped for an exit route.
We applauded the doctors and nurses who fought to care for us along with the teams of researchers who worked every hour to create a safe path out. Eventually the balance of hope increased, the overwhelming anxiety began to subside and once again we could pick up our lives and breathe again as the world slowly changed step once more.
Ironically of course, during covid we all actually did breathe more easily. Pollution was massively reduced, noise pollution almost disappeared and the stress of constant schedules and commutes to work became minimal. Conversely, other anxieties such as income and economic survival flooded us all as businesses struggled to survive. It was very scary.
I imagine most of us hoped that eventually the world would restart as a better place but as time goes on it seems to be just as anxious making, if for different reasons. Looking back through rose tinted glasses – or through the TV screen – the world of Downton Abbey – or Highclere - seems a very welcome relief and the tension over whether Mr Carson will actually propose to Mrs Hughes positively a good worry to have.
Anxiety is something we all live with and it is not necessarily always a negative. It is part of our “fight or flight” response and can help us stay safe and avoid dangerous situations. But the need for safety can become overblown – for example staying home and not going out at all or endlessly delaying something that doesn’t really need to be put off.
We can all recognise when we need to break out of such a pattern of behaviour. Recently, author Owen O'Kane was one of my Friends of Highclere book club guests and he has written a compelling and practical book about the “addiction to anxiety”, exploring both its triggers and how to manage it.
I know from my own experience what it feels like to be flooded with anxiety and how I need to frame and manage it. I know that often things immediately seem better if discussed with another person but also that sometimes I almost consciously create space around me – not just to walk and think something through but to walk to create space in my head and purposely not think about things.
As French novelist Victo Hugo wrote, “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise”. Thus, even in the darkest moments we should focus on hope and on facts and reality rather than the endless 'what if' scenarios that anxiety creates.
Part of the journey of life is all the experiences we accumulate, both positive and negative, which enable us weigh up situations and make decisions, anticipate possible outcomes and act as best we can. Or in other words - to worry about what might happen…
I often get anxious about my writing. Will I be late delivering a blog or a book? Perhaps no one will like what I’ve written. Yet this doesn’t stop me from starting and continuing in the hope that mostly I get it right. Choosing the right words matters whether written or spoken. Kind words create confidence and happiness. They can give and create love and that helps balance all of us.
29 Comments
I'm remembering back to the days of the Covid lockdown and how much I looked forward to your Viking.TV reels every week. You helped ease my anxiety in those days and I'm still grateful for that.
They were such fun and we very much enjoyed making them, thank you
I like your phrase" to conciously create space around me " Sometimes it is so hard to take yourself away from the situation thats causing your anxiety! I shall look
forward to reading Owen's book
Thankyou also for writing "Anxiety " Think I so needed that this morning
Thank you so much for this message today. It is just what I needed. I love your articles.
I had the privilege of visiting Highclere in April 2017 when I visited England from South Africa, where I live.
I am delighted and thank you for visiting us
Lovely the pictures of anxiety and did you and lord Carnarvon have a wonderful weekend lam fan of Downton Abbey and highcelere castle
Our day began with this wonderful post. Words do matter and you have chosen them beautifully. We also send a very belated thank you for our visit in March. Enjoy the remainder of the summer.
Thank you and please enjoy the remainder of your summer too
So true my lady, as different situations of how it can effect us, you have helped me with this Lady Carnavon from one of your blogs some time ago, you as you mentioned the vegus nerve in how you rub the sides of your neck when things start feel anxious, more rightly so being out and surounded by nature, I find such peace and calm. You have a beautiful estate at Highclere your grounds are so lovely and beautiful! we lived in england for many years, now that we have moved back home once again, I know one day we will be back, I am looking forward to visiting Highclere once more!
Very well remembered! Being surrounded by nature is entirely magical. Thank you
Lady Carnarvon, you are so gracious. And I am very proud of you for continuing. One of the fight or flight s of anxiety is to freeze. If we don't unfreeze, we don't get to enjoy the challenge. Thank you for sharing.
Quite right!
What an uplifting story Lady Carnarvon and so succinctly put. I look forward to yuor next blog
Thank you
Thank you for your insightful blog on anxiety which plagues all of us at one time or another. Walking out in nature I find to be the absolute best medicine.
As do I, thank you
This is so important: to remember that fears, worries and anxiety are part of all our lives. Instead of feeling ashamed, sharing our emotions and trying to live up to them may be part of the solution. You never fail to make one think and inspire with your words. No matter who we are and where we live, all human beings mostly enjoy and worry about the same things, which should really unite us if only we would think more of our similarities than of our differences. Thank you for your this!
I too have had my share of anxiety over the years. It doesn’t really do any good to worry over things that may never happen but we do.
My best friend with whom I can share my worries with, refers to them as stinkin thinkin. We think what if this or that should happen?
Let’s turn the “what if’s” into “ so what’s”, it doesn’t hurt to try.
Thank you Lady Carnarvon for sharing your thoughts and anxieties with us this week.
Dear Lady Carnarvon,
Anxiety is often misunderstood and your kind and gracious words give voice to what many are uncomfortable with. We all experience it, in different ways, and your shared experiences can offer reassurance. Covid set the world on its side, and the pathway back to a new normal was difficult for many to find. Thank you for sharing the recommendation of the timely book. May you and your dear ones remain safe and well.
Best regards,
Charlotte Merriam Cole
Thank you so much for addressing this subject and introducing this new book to me. I've noticed that society and the new generation is even more anxious than the previous, to the point of being paralyzed. I think this could be helpful understanding my own children. I'm going to listen to your podcast now. Thank you again!!!
I m going through this right now. Three deaths in four years, my sister and two pets , not leaving the house.
I am so sorry Ann
Your writing does get it right - love to read your words on whatever subject. Thank you for them today.
Thank you for starting my Mondays off on a positive note.
Your blog this week resonates very strongly with me and was an enjoyable read. Thank you.
You never need to get anxious about the content of your writing, it is always excellent and always very relevant> I always look forward to it.
What lovely soothing words thank you
I always find if I make a list of things I need to get done and then work to complete the list, it goes a long way to clearing my head and allows me to feel “in control”. If someone else comes to me who is feeling stress , as Isobel Crawley Merton says "a good brisk walk to clear away the cobwebs", is always my solution too. A walk with a friend never hurts. Have a great week. Kindly KIP
I love lists !
Lady Carnarvon,
When I get anxious, I like to remember this verse from the Bible, 1 Peter 5:7, "Cast your cares upon him because he cares for you." That helps me remember that I can have the peace of God.
This was a great post. Anxiety is unfortunately a big part of life. You write so beautifully. Makes me want to read more. :-) Thank you.
Lady Carnarvon:
I always look forward to your Monday blogs! I read them as a take my morning break at work. I find them insightful & put together well.
A bit of anxiety is often a nudge to get us to do a better job at any task.
Cheers!
Donna from Chicagoland
How fun, thank you taking the time to reading during your breaks at work!
Oh, the photos of the darling dogs! Pets are definitely tools in our toolbox for helping to manage anxiety. Their obvious ability to live in the moment, and their unconditional love, never fail to soothe me and help me stay balanced and centered. Thank you for your wise words, Lady Carnarvon, and thank you also for the book recommendation. Best wishes from Illinois!
Lady Carnarvon,
Thank you for the thoughtful post. As you rightfully point out, anxiety is something we all wrestle with. Kind words from others do go far,
(and from ourselves as well), and to me the best advice, is, as you say, to continue on with the hope that we will get it mostly right in the end.
'Addicted to Anxiety' looks quite interesting, many thanks for the recommendation.
Have a lovely week~
Rona Book
Thank you Rona, kind words from others do go far. You are most welcome
Lady Carnarvon,
Thank you for speaking up about anxiety. So many of us pretend we are not bothered by it, but I believe most people are, without really thinking about it seriously. I know I am, and I talk with my doctor regularly about it. she monitors my mental and emotional health frequently to try to prevent a silent heart attack. Older women such as I cannot be too careful. Thanks for sharing this topic. Martha
You should never be anxious about your blog. Your topics are genuinely fascinating and informative. And you do choose the right words.
I look forward to Mondays because of your writing!
Thank you Brigid!
All of your readers thoroughly appreciate your writings:
Good morning LadyCarnarvon,
I always look forward to your blogs on Monday morning.
It gets my day and week going. I could never
Put pen to paper or speak as eloquently as you do. I. have
all your books so far and always dream of visiting your beautiful
home some day which I don’t know will ever happen
as we are in the United States. In the meantime I will keep on reading
and following you. You lighten my days.
I was sad to hear about Alfie .So sorry for your loss. He was beautiful
as all your animals are.
Linda, thank you for all your kind words. I hope that one day you might be able to visit. For now, thank you for following.
Kindest,
Lady Carnarvon
Yes, I can relate to everything you said. Well put!!! We seem to have gone from one stressful situation into another; especially here in the U.S. Thank you for you words of encouragement. There will be better days ahead for us all.
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