Experiences

Walking down the front drive towards the castle, groups of visitors have paused to take photographs, and I can hear the unintelligible buzz of chatter, see the smiles and feel the relaxed mood. It is a day out, involving (today) sunshine, an early cup of coffee looking out over the lawns, the chance to breathe in country air, to see the rooms familiar from Downton Abbey, and to spend time with family and friends. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience,” and that is what I hope happens when guests visit here. 

What we choose is often instinctive. We ‘follow our nose’ rather than trying to structure words around our feelings. Experiences have a different, more intangible value than material possessions because they can provide lasting happiness through great memories, help foster personal growth, and strengthen our social ties with others. Experiences can be shared and to build more meaningful bonds between people through joint participation. It is instinctive to us as social creatures to want to share our adventures. 

It is not just a good experience that brings us joy but also the anticipation of it. We all look forward to an event, to a celebration or to a holiday and can get almost as much pleasure in the planning of something as we do in the actuality of it. How to get there, what to wear, what might we eat and so on. No visit to Highclere lasts for more than a few hours yet hopefully simply a day out makes us value that time, and hopefully that value increases as time passes. Memories linger and stay with us in and as a part of our personality.

Possessions are somewhat more contrary – they can also accumulate as clutter, cupboards not closing very well, stuff unfiled and not sorted, taking up light and space. In modern times, the need for and art of decluttering has spawned whole businesses – you need not look further than eBay or Vinted for a start. Clutter makes me feel anxious and is often more burdensome than fun. It is most certainly accompanied by Geordie tut-tutting and looking unhappy at the state of various corners or rooms. Highclere has both good clutter evoking art and culture and stuff I just cannot decide about. Like most people, every so often I have a go at clearing it up and then despondently give up for a bit.

In addition, buying possessions fosters comparisons. We buy a new car and are thrilled with it until a better one comes out and it is a fact of life that there are always those with bigger or better ones. For some, their identity is connected to things, which is intrinsically quite lonely and ultimately not really very satisfactory. Things are essentially always separate from you whereas our experiences are part of us. Not only that but, in a very real way, we are both the sum and consequence of our experiences.
At Highclere we try to focus on the experiences we offer, sharing our home and creating different opportunities.  Part of the experience is simply just being here, in different seasons with different exhibitions or different events. Into this also comes the memory, scenes and wit of Downton Abbey.

We try to offer a variety of options to keep everything fresh and new and to cater to as many different preferences as possible. Everyone has a favourite day out. Some dream of afternoon tea, others love music or gardens, and some people love to dance and to party.

 Quite often a Downton series involved a dance, all of which took some time to film but which was wonderful to watch. Another costume drama, Bridgerton, makes use of a ball in almost every episode to jog the narrative onwards and to connect the characters. They have transformed formal Regency etiquette into intense scenes filled with longing and emotion.

 This June we thought we would create a Saturday night with Highclere’s version of music and dancing. From classic cocktails to delicious food and perhaps a surprise (singing) act with maybe just the one Scottish reel to shake it up which I look forward to leading. Whether you watch dancing or take part, it gives us all such pleasure.