Dame Maggie Smith has commented in the press that her role as the Dowager in “Downton Abbey” had a natural limitation given that otherwise she would soon be approaching her 120th fictional birthday. My son was born at the turn of the last century and medical experts suggest that the life expectancy of his generation may well exceed 100 years so perhaps Maggie Smith had less to worry about than she thought. Despite such discussions, there is no doubt that her work commitments and outstanding achievements are a beacon to us all. Another British icon Mary Berry never stops delighting us on TV and in books; Dame Helen Mirren adorns couture catwalks as well as films, whilst Dame Judy Dench has mixed Shakespeare with “James Bond” and the “Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” where Maggie Smith joined her before returning later in the year to film “Downton Abbey”.
Hollywood has a reputation for focusing on youth and perfection yet, to my mind, the great charm of Downton Abbey is the mix of ages, looks and characters. It was about Anna, Daisy and her young beau, William, his older father, as well as Lord Grantham, Lady Rose (Lily James), a school teacher, a butler, Dr Clarkson and a Dowager. It follows characters of all ages through a decade of their life, as they all get a little bit older.
Equally the “Real Downton” Highclere Castle and Estate is also populated by characters of all ages, from youngsters in the tearooms during the summer holidays embarking on their first job, to veteran and apprentice gardeners, housekeepers, guides in their eighties still going strong. One of our most important team members, Les, celebrated his 90th birthday last week. He is certainly one of my beacons: the only trouble with getting older is that birthdays come round with increasing speed each year.
Living at Highclere reminds me of a line by Robert Browning (1812-1889) “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.” Robert Browning was, in fact, a frequent visitor to Highclere and I suspect he was thinking of his wife Elizabeth Barrett Browning who was perhaps the more exceptional poet. Their courtship and marriage was a very moving story of love.
Marrying Geordie, I was the newcomer and knew from the beginning that everyone else knew far more than I did. Therefore, my first task was to listen, observe and reflect. Highclere needs to move with the times yet keep its heart and my role was to try to help my husband steer and curate his family home. The clue is in the name – it is a Stately Home in a spectacular Park which could be enhanced, re-tuned and brought more to life. I think of it as curating the heart of a home, the stories and characters; looking after those who work with us today and sharing the stories of some of those who lived or worked here in the past.
In “Downton Abbey”, cast members retired to find other roles in film or TV and a number of storylines developed from there. At the Real Downton, we rarely retire. Some opt to go part time; others join us after retiring from other jobs. It is a community of all ages, abiding together in times of trouble, turning their hands to our next event or even playing Rounders on the lawn on a spare afternoon. I remain honoured to work with Les and Pat, Mike, young Brian (who is a very young at 75), John G and his sense of humour, our interns James or Robert, the girls in the office in their twenties and those in the gift shop, some of whom are sailing happily into their 70’s and 80’s. Living here, growing older, making new friends, laughing with old friends, I know more, understand more and can share more.
Happy birthday Les!
A Stately Home is almost “visible” history and, amongst the centuries old cedar trees, gives one a real sense of both mortality and immortality.
Amongst these more sober reflections, it is essential to live in the moment, to enjoy parties and never act too old – just like Les. I used to know Noel Cowards lyrics “I went to a marvellous party” off by heart and these are the last few lines:
“We talked about growing old gracefully
And Elsie who’s seventy-four said: it’s a question of being sincere,
And B, if you’re supple you’ve nothing to fear.
Then she swung upside down from a glass chandelier,
I couldn’t have liked it more.”
Thus, I close with photos of laughter:
Instagram
I couldn’t agree more. Age is just a number. Very inspiring! Thank you.
It is … just have to keep going! Or as Churchill said “Never give up!”
So well written. Informative, gracious and heartfelt. Thank you once again for a little glimpse into the day-to-day of life in your magnificent Stately Home. I am honored to have had the opportunity to have walked it’s grounds and rooms open to the public during your gracious open days. Reading your blog lets me glimpse into life during other seasons and stages of ones life there then during the day I spent there.
Thank you – I hope it is a nice way of staying in touch
Dear Lady carnavon,
What an amazing take on age, the people who played on Downton Abbey and the real life curators who keep the beautiful Highclere a living stately home.
Thanks for your blog–I enoy reading about your home– a home and a treasured place from the TV show. My sister visited last year and I feel like I walked the grounds, enjoyed the tea and the conversations she had with some of your staff along with her. I echo the sentiments of Lynn Barber (previous comment) You have brought life to a building and enriched my life and others with your committment and stories of life at Highclere Castle. Thank you.
Team effort !
Happy Birthday Les!
May there be more!
I am with you there!
Such fun to read about Les (I love his portrait) and to see your happy photos at the end of your post. Though we can definitely feel the physical effects of aging, our spirit doesn’t age! I love that about my 95-year-old mother, who maintains an interest in and a zest for living and progress and accomplishments. Happy birthday, Les! And thank you, Lady C for your sweet post!
Thank you !
Beautifully said and the nostalgia never ends with the associations of Downton Abbey at Highclere Castle.
The spirit of a community for all ages. A heart-warming read to start the day! Happy birthday to Les!
Amazing people and the combined age of those sitting with Les in front of his balloons is about 350 – pretty cool!
Dear Lady Carnarvon,
I so look forward to these blog posts! This one, especially. I feel as if I’ve lived past my sell by date sometimes, but something like this comes along and lifts my spirits. I’ve gotten a million miles out of Dame Maggie’s comment in “Best Exotic …”(my very favorite movie), when she told the young man that she’s so old she doesn’t even “buy green bananas.”
Happy Birthday, Les!
Mary Carolyn
I enjoyed the “Best Exotic” – there were some great lines.
Your touching, beautiful posts are the most wonderful way to start my day…I look forward to each of your updates on life in a magnificent home. Thank you for sharing! Hopefully, one day I will actually get to visit.
I hope you do visit but I am delighted you enjoy this!
As my husband and I enter our golden age, and experiencing the indignities of, like an old automobile, our parts wearing out, we are blessed with an abiding sense of humor. Texas is often unfriendly to my flower gardens, but the tending and care I am still able to give my flowers and home, the love it demands, bears fruit. Since most of my family is from England, Scotland, and England we had so hoped to visit and perhaps live there. But I am afraid life had other plans for us. For these reasons, we are living vicariously through your posting of your life and experiences. Thank you so very much.
Sense of humour takes us all through..I was crying with laughter in a Highclere meeting today, all about numbers and proposed numbers and actual proposed numbers and what really had happened to the proposed numbers… so I am not sure I passed beyond the proposal stage. Tomorrow I start early in the gardens and whilst nothing ever quite works out as planned it does somehow work out – just as you say.
Well, I meant to say England, Scotland, and Wales.
More wonderful stories and memories, I do enjoy reading them.
I visited Highclere on September 20th this year with 4 friends. As first time visitors they were in awe of the house, grounds and our wonderful tour guide, and you Lady Carnarvon for speaking to us in the Saloon.
Today is my husband’s birthday and I was touched to read the lines from Robert Browning’s poem.
As my husband says, “Keep Smiling”.
Laughter is the best medicine.
It is a very good medicine. I think his wife wrote some really beautiful poems – sonnet 43 is perhaps one most read:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.”
Dear Lady Carnarvon
Thank you for another wonderful blog. You have such a fascinating history at Highclere & more amazing chapters yet to be written.
Although we’re surrounded by constant change in this oh so modern world, reflection & appreciation of tradition & heritage give us a deeper appreciation of life and what we have. Our recent visit to Highclere such a highlight – there’s something quite special about your family home that stays with you & a strong desire to come back again – we can’t wait!
Love the photos of laughter & wish we could be there for some of the wonderful events you have planned over the coming months.
Happy Birthday Les!
Althea – Auckland, New Zealand
Thank you!
Great story and would like to see more. Lately, I have been watching Downton Abbey reruns of season 3 on the mid night shift. What a complex life they lived. It showed the reality of WW1 was really like and the after math of it. What a shame that show could not be renewed with 4 or more seasons of new episodes set later in the 1920’s and into the 1930’s. Much thanks! Frank Chary
They have promised a film!
Dear Lady Carnarvon,
What diverse and interesting members of staff you have at Highclere. A real treasure trove of personalities mixing the energy of youth with the wisdom and experience of age.
Also, your joyful photos of laughter are very appropriate. There are studies that have concluded that as time marches on, laughter is beneficial to one’s health. Maybe that is why it is said that “laughter is the best medicine”.
All of which makes my ponder why there are so many sayings related to aging and the passage of time.
A favourite saying of age and time, that always brings a smile to my face is:
“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.
That’s why it’s called “the present”.
I believe Eleanor Roosevelt wrote the first sentence but it may have been Bill Keane who ‘added’ the second.
Another favourite from the pen of Eleanor Roosevelt:
“Many people will walk in and out of your life, But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.”
However, “Time Waits for No Man”
In the 1902 book, “Sun Dials and Roses of Yesterday: Garden Delights” by Alice Morse Earle, it is noted that the words “no man” in the saying “Time Waits for No Man” is a play on words or pun of the word “gnomon”.
And of course a gnomon is a pointer on a sun dial.
And then there’s George Bernard Shaw’s “Youth is wasted on the young”. Possibly a tad harsh on the young. I actually prefer the more subtle:
“The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.”
Enough now. Best wishes.
Regards,
Jeffery Sewell
Those are some great sayings – thank you!
Jeffrey, I enjoyed your comment.
I think GBS was right when he said that youth is wasted on the young. Even though some young people are more aware than others of the different stages of life, it’s hard for them to appreciate their good health and energy.
I have worked with people who already wanted to retire, even though they were in their youth and had just started working. It’s good to have people of different ages around, to get different perspectives.
M’ Lady: I certainly don’t mind and it does matter greatly that I get to read your enjoyable postings (like this one) and books. Thanks for your contributions to my joys and laughs at 75!
Stan W, Portland OR USA
Wonderful – thank you !
Dear Lady Carnarvon: I love your Blog. Our oldest Daughter, Kathy, just put me on to it, and is so inspiring, and fun to read. Thank you for all the little insights, and lovely scenery. I’ve never been to Highclere, but we have roots there. My husband’s family were tenant farmers at Faccome Manor. My family, were in Towchester, North Hampshire, and a Great, Great, several Greats…Grandfather,.. immigrated to the New World in 1639. No wonder I feel so comfortable with English people!
My Mother, who lived to be 88 (probably young by your standards) used to quote: “Age is an issue of Mind over Matter, if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter”. She even put it into a count and cross stitch for me. I’m 77, and understand what she said and what you are saying.
Bev Wiedeman,
Sparks, Nevada, USA
Faccombe is high on some hills to the west of us – quite tough in winter but nothing like the courage needed of those who set off to the “New World”
Thank you! Very happy read!
Dear Lady Carnarvon,
Once again a great blog and a subject and one I think of quite often these days having retired in January of this year at the comparitively young age of 66!
I am at this time enjoying my retirement to the full with my Panamanian partner and am replying to your blog from Panama.
A favourite saying of mine is your as old as you feel and at this time I am 66 going on 25!
We are both fortunate to be able to travel quite a lot and next week we fly to Washington DC for a week of business and pleasure!
We both enjoy watching period dramas and have seen the whole of Downton Abbey episodes and had the pleasure of visiting your beautiful home earlier in the year!
We like you love the performances of some of the senior Actors and actresses, class acts.
We hope to visit Highclare again next year and and attend one of your special events, keep your wonderful Blogs coming we love them!
Alan & Graciela
Thank you and enjoy the sunshine where you are! We have some fun events next year from a week in May for teas, tours and talks around the theme of script to screen and later on Heroes at Highclere Sept 8/9 to revisit the First World War but to raise money for those who serve and those who save lives today.
Dear Lady Carnarvon,
When I turn my iPad or computer on each day all the emails come flooding in and run down the screen like a torrent of rain.
Somehow my eye catches yours and it is the first one I look at. The others can wait and wait they do as reading your posts make me day Dream of Highclere. It is still on my bucket list and will try again this year to visit. I await news of your garden party. The pictures of you sledding down the hill laughing all the way brought me to a happy place. A place we in the US have not seen in awhile due to the massive destruction of the hurricanes and the horror of Las Vegas. Thank you for making me happy. Love, Diana
I am so sorry for the terrible loss of life, for the wanton pain and grief in Las Vegas. Words cannot describe … It has been such a tough year with the multiple hurricanes, when they have gone it is still exhausting. Sometimes I hope little windows of stories from here are a small distraction for a short time before returning to deal with other challenges and sorrows.
Thank you for your kind words. Your blog is a ray of sunshine!
Please keep the “blogs” coming! (Love, love, love all of them but sometimes I just wish I were a little younger so I could apply to work in the gift shop when someone decides to retire and then send many prayers that I would be accepted!!). My daughter and I shared the gift of a lifetime when my husband sent us to England to visit your incredible home and gardens three years ago – we were blessed and will never forget our experience! Thank you for being “you” Lady Carnarvon!!!
The gift shop girls (average age 75) are hilarious – although yesterday nothing matched any tills, stock or money or which till, so it took Sally ages to sort out and she needed champagne by the end!
As a grandmother of 7, the youngest is 9, I have to stay as young as possible! I had two Aunts who lived to be 98 and 96 and I fully plan to do the same, then celebrate that amazing century mark. I want to be the very best I can regardless of the age!!
It is so refreshing to hear how you feel about your staff, from the eldest to the youngest. Also that you have listened and learned from them,and are not too proud to say so. No wonder Highclere continues to grow and prosper under your guidance. I look forward to reading the next blog, to see what wonderful things you have in store.
Well keep swinging from the chandeliers as Noel Coward says or sliding down bannisters, another eccentric pastime here!
Ditto to all the above, and thank you for Elizabeth Browning’s sonnet. I loved it as a young person. We pray with many young couples who are struggling to find their “first love” in their marriages, and I will be printing this for them. Thank you for your sense of humour & love of life, and for sharing this with us.
MY LADY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LES !!
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE.
KEEP SMILING.
Happy Birthday Les!! We hope you had a great birthday and may the upcoming year be filled with Love, Laughter, Peace and Good Health!!
My husband and I were blessed to be able to visit your beautiful Stately Home last year. We loved watching Downton Abbey and, on a lark one morning, I googled “castle on Downton Abbey” and of course Highclere came up. I read about a special time you were having last fall – tea and a private tour. We signed up and made the trip. Oh, what a delightful time we had. You were so gracious to greet us all in the Saloon before we divided into small groups. Our guide was wonderful and had so many stories to share with us on the taping of Downton Abbey. It was an experience I will never forget. Thank you for deciding to open up your home last fall for this special event. I would love to be able to visit again, but alas,since I live in Florida, I doubt that will happen. I’ll just “visit” in my mind as I read your blogs. Keep them coming!!
Thank you – I really appreciate your comments!
Thanks so much for this wonderful blog, Lady Carnarvon! And for the salute to the young and old that made Downton great and Highclere Castle, too. Age really is just a state of mind and honestly, I wouldn’t want be young again in this day and age. I think it’s terrific that Highclere has so many “senior” employees and volunteers!
Well Said!!! I always say that if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter saying! I think one of the secrets to life is having friends of all ages – thanks again for another wonderful blog…I can hear the laughter from here….
Friends from all ages make for the best parties too!
How lovely to have stumbled across your blog, and what a hope inspiring piece on aging! It struck me last night that I am fast approaching my 50th year and while the thought fills me with dread, I am being reminded by my older friends and posts like these that I am yet a spring chicken with plenty of potential, after all Moses was 80 when he set out to do his first big job! Good to know that at any age, life can be filled with joy and purpose.
Happy Birthday Les!!!! Keep ’em coming! You look great!
Dear Lady Carnarvon,
Aren’t Birthday’s WONDERFUL?! Let’s keep having them!
I’m quite serious! Once we stop, it’s 6 feet under we go, and Parties are a lot more fun than wakes.
Your photos of riding a merry – go – round, and having fun parties on the grounds at Highclere, say to me that you are staying very young at heart, and that ‘youth’ is a part of who you are. Walking the dogs, riding and sharing life with us in Blog are all a wonderful part of YOU. Thank you.
A BIG Happy Birthday wish to Les! You are only as old as you feel. It doesn’t take another Birthday to remind me of years gone by. I haven’t counted candles for many years. My Mom decided at the young age of 90 to give her birthdays away. ♀️ At first I thought she was just being silly, but when our children announced they would divide her gifts, the idea turned into a family gathering loaded with a lot of laughter, fun, and many memories. THAT’s what she wanted!
It’s never too late to learn.
Regards,
Jane Hrabak
Lady Carnarvon,
How do I love your blog post? Let me count the ways! What a beautiful meditation on aging gracefully and enjoying life to the fullest at every age and stage. I agree with you wholeheartedly. It is such a joy to have friends of all ages. The Highclere connection to Robert and Elizabeth Barrett Browning is fascinating too. You may be pleased to know that the Armstrong Browning Library at Baylor University (Waco, Texas) houses the largest collection of Browning material. And those lovely photos! I smiled and laughed with you. Thank you!!! I hope you have a wonderful day.
Stacey Brown
The Woodlands, Texas
Robert Browning was here several times after his wife died – beginning in 1869 and I imagine we may have some letters and diary notes…I had not thought where the main body of archives would be – how interesting! Thank you.
This is the link to the Armstrong Browning Library at Baylor University in Waco. I am sure they would be thrilled to have a transatlantic conversation about Robert Browning’s Highclere visits.
http://www.baylor.edu/browninglibrary/index.php
I always enjoy reading your posts and look forward to each one. This one, however, is especially meaningful as there is much to be learned when we “listen, observe, and reflect” and so much that we miss when we do not. Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you for sharing. Being in my golden years, I appreciated your comments. My favorite ride has always been the MerryGo-Round. I liked best the horses that went up and down and the music. It brought happiness with it.
We have had a merry -go -round at the last two garden parties and it greets you as you walk towards the Castle. It was rather magic to keep on going round or return whenever we wanted!!!
Lady Carnarvon–Hello. We met at the Castle tour in May. I have since contacted MPT concerning the fundraiser. It is in motion. There is quite a bit of enthusiasm and groundswell here. May we talk offline about plans in Maryland?
Hope you are enjoying fall,
Rick Faby
[email protected]
cell 410-382-1731
More than ever, I wish to quit here, to work in your gift shop. Would you accept a (possibly vulgar) American? I would need to establish employment before becoming an ex-pat. lol
You might have to intern!!!! But wasn’t there a film about that?
Dear Lady Carnarvon,
I appreciate your post about appreciating time… and how quickly changes come! I was reminded of that just a short time ago tonight here in San Jose, California.
My husband and I have been trying to visit your lovely home during his work trip to Britain next month. Both of your November tour dates remained available (I kept checking religiously) but, of course, just as we confirmed the dates with his work to attend your Nov. 7th tour, boom! The website showed no more availability. The primal scream you probably heard was ours. We are avid history as well as Downtown Abbey fans and your home was to be a major highlight of the trip.
In typical crazed American fashion, I left your office a feverish phone and email message tonight, begging for any possible openings. We’re natural servant types (need anyone to serve crumpets?) or else can fake upstairs class. I will stay up tonight to call again. Change happens whether we want it or not sometimes. This is another reminder of that. I certainly hope we can make it out your way!
Keeping our fingers crossed…
Elaine & Richard
Although some changes of time are hard to swallow (sigh…forgetfulness and gray hair), sometimes unexpected changes are definitely welcomed: space became available on the November 7th tour and so we will be able to visit Highclere after all!
Thank you to your thoughtful and gracious staff, Lady Carnarvon. We look forward to seeing you all soon.
Gratefully,
Elaine & Richard
San Jose, CA
I am glad you will be here and I look forward to seeing you!
Dear Lady Carnarvon,
I loved this birthday tribute to Les who is such an integral part of Highclere. I say this because life experience and old fashioned work ethic trump all when it comes to a job well done! I agree that age something to appreciate and nothing to fear. You brought up two of my very favorite people to illustrate this, Dame Maggie Smith and Mary Berry. I so enjoy all Dame Maggie’s performances. She brings a delightful wit and a distinctive PERSONALITY to all her performances. Mary Berry is a delight. I LOVE the Great British Baking Show and own several of her books. When I see mature ladies like these making their indelible mark on the world of entertainment, it makes me smile. I just had a birthday recently and I face the coming years with joyous anticipation. I think the secret really is having a happy outlook and taking care of myself. I only have one me, and I want to present my best self to the world. Happy Birthday Les, and much appreciation to all who make Highclere such a lovely place!
KInd Regards to You, Lady Carnarvon,
Ann Catherine Flood
Thank you Ann!
Happy birthday to Les; I hope he has many MORE!
Jeffrey, I enjoyed your comment.
I think GBS was right when he said that youth is wasted on the young. Even though some young people are more aware than others of the different stages of life, it’s hard for them to appreciate their good health and energy.
I have worked with people who already wanted to retire, even though they were in their youth and had just started working. It’s good to have people of different ages around, to get different perspectives.
Oops, this is a duplicate…I don’t know if there’s a way to delete it?
Thank you as always for such inspiration. I do believe you are as old as you feel. I do not believe in “your too old to do that”….really? Why would you say that to anyone. I think if you live well, honest, considerate and respectful of others and keep your sense of humor….you’ll be forever young.
Thank you Lady Carnarvon, as always.
Wishing You and your Husband the best of good health.
Dear Lady Carnarvon,
I was introduced to Downton Abby by an American war hero and his amazing wife (worked on Nasa satellite program) we recently watched the Downton series together and I loved every minute.
I am Australian born and was a young girl when my British father who immigrated to Australia was based back in England for two years and we happened to attend the Investiture of Prince of Wales at Carnarvon Castle and have some wonderful old video from that day.
We have been back to England from time to time over the years and have lived in San Diego, California for many years now we do hope to bring our amazing friends with us to visit your wonderful estate.
We also breed Arabian horses and have done so for many many years it is lovely to see that you enjoy them as well
Many times, I have thought that I was born in the wrong era. I love history and simpler times. The work you have done over the years to preserve your home and surrounding areas is a testament to your commitment to ensuring history is not forgotten. Yes, every day brings a new bit of history but today’s world is so much more sinister and harsh – and frankly, it’s a bright frightening. Being able to look back at a more ‘genteel’ time may give hope that things will once again be peaceful and enjoyable and safe.
I did take a few archaeology classes in college and still have a fascination with Ancient Egypt. I must have read every book that mentions King Tut, Henry Carter and Lord Carnarvon! As a photographer who can utilize all sorts of software to digitally enhance the photos, my favorite photos are old photos. Black and white and even better sepia! Seeing some of the photos you post brings that image of the past to us in the present and allows us to relive – and perhaps wish for – that life of days gone by.
Your fundraisers always seem so fun and I appreciate that you, as I, feel helping others is part of our ‘rent’ for living on this earth.
Thank you for sharing your world with us! And yesterday’s photo of Highclere’s sunset was spectacular!
Interesting reflection on age. I remember Les from the photograph in your book. In fact, my mother – who is 94 – was so very touched that you took the time to show her his photograph during our Special Tour of Highclere, 3 June. Thank you also for responding to my note – my mother and I were blessed by your kindness.
Lady Carnarvon,
That is so true.. The mixture of ages is what makes us wiser. I could not have said it better. It’s a shame how some societies don’t know how to relate to others. We all belong to the real world.
Mixed ages make the best parties